For nearly a year now, I’ve been unable to write. Mood stabilizing drugs have made it difficult for me to find inspiration. My mania and depression used to fan my creative flame. On meds, I’ve been convinced that I would never be able to write anything decent again…until this week.
This week, I gave some thought to my fiction series The Smell Collector. I really enjoyed writing this quirky series. I’d only published eighteen episodes and I had far more in mind. I just didn’t know how to begin with it again. So I decided to be a grown up writer and use a method. I started with characters. I wrote a profile for each character. Then I hunkered down and wrote an entire plot summary. Then had someone proof it for holes. I confess that I’ve never done this. I tend to shoot from the hip and let things grow organically…annnnnnd that’s why I’ve never been able to write a longer piece. Once that was done, I knew exactly what to write. Now the only question was, could I, after a year, recapture the feel of the series. Would I be able to express the voices of my two lead characters?
Well, I suppose the jury’s still out. I’ve published one installment each for my characters. I believe it’s at least close. I don’t have the same frenetic energy when I write, so there may be some subtle differences. But maybe these are good differences. I suppose I’ll know if it’s any good if people read it. I’ve lost most of my previous readership. I might gain some back if I post on the fabulous Tuesday Serial. Will I continue writing this if no one reads it? Yup. I love writing it, and I want to tell the whole story of this funny little man who lives his life one smell at a time.
The final question for me on writing again is, will it trigger mania? I can’t afford to become maniacally obsessed with this. And what writer doesn’t border on maniacally obsessed? However, my stability is more important to me than my writing. Here’s to hoping.